FRIEND OF NATURE:THE BALETE TREE

Do you know that I talked to trees? Sounds weird to you?...but I extremely find it spiritually  enlightening, my personal commune sort of, with nature.

 RESPECT.
I love planting, even the alugbate stems not used in law-uy, I will always find a space in the backyard to plant it. The seeds of "kalabasa"(squash) spreads on vacant spaces in my farm. I love the sprouts of  new leaves, for me it's a NEW LIFE, a new beginning.....

Armed with "few necessities" like my folded director's chair, a tumbler of mineral water, a basket of food -2 pcs. ripe bananas, pritong tulingan/pirit, enough steamed rice, utan, inun-on na isda with lots of ajos, plates, soy sauce and patis. On the sides-some ice on a bucket for my white wine and coke.

It won't be complete without my gears: Doc Martens' high black boots, arafat scarf, a low Dolce&Gabbana cargo pants, sleeveless sando an extra two t-shirts, Tom Ford shades, gloves, capiz neckpieces, rubbing alcohol, and my favorite transistor radio bought at local market costing 300 pesos, plus 4 big Eveready batteries.

I brought along some knives, bolos and my grass cutter full tank. Before I forget I also have my DKNY umbrella, trapal and nylon jacket in case an unwelcome rain will give a quick visit. Few...right?

That day was planned. I have decided after the cleaning of weeds sorrounding the balete tree at the edge of the creek, I will do some simple landscape. My idea was to plant some local saging-saging(birds of paradise) in a nearby well (atabay) at the foot of the balete. Some gabi, some water plant, some saging...just to add a little color and texture.

My brigade: a 14 years old neighbor who will do some grass cutting, my nephew who will be my personal assitant and two cute kids to add some noise....and Lagring, who could live without her?

The ever reliable Mitsubishi Military 4wd with big tires pambukid  was park just few meters from the Balete, as we prepared for our new project: OPLAN BALETE MAKE OVER.

The Balete foliage shimmers as the sunrays hit in an early morning fog. The myna birds(kulansyang) who were boarders of tree screams merrily as the welcome the day...the chorus line was out of tune....were they singing? or shouting......mmmmmm.

The river seems peaceful, clear and clean after 4 days rain on previous days. Other chirps follows as I recognized some troops of MAYA, and few cute birds living in my farm.... few sound of carabao at a distant. The ripe BISAYA mangoes were seducing me at that early....actually the old native varieties are more sweet than the new hybrids. I have other manga on the farm, the  manga TIPA, manga DOLDOL, manga Bisaya and mangga PURIKO...HAHAHAHA...maybe they have another names but then that's what I knew from then.
  
Looking at the majestic Balete....the King of Trees, I bowed my head in respect. I murmured and chatted with him. " Here I am visiting and paying homage to your grandness...I am your humble eco servant and warrior, I promise to protect your kingdom, no harm shall come to you and the other flora and faunas. I will not disturb you, we just come to have a make-over, it wont be  a screaming landscape...just a blend with nature kind of beautification..I promise!" as I ended my litany.

I love the cool breeze under the thick canopy of leaves of the BALETE tree. As the work progressed I heard some motorbike roaring nearing to us. "Manong, gipahatod ni Nanay Koring ang init nga bingka, imong gi order gahapon" said the boy." Kuan kanang unom ra nga bingkang dagko iyang nagama kay nahutdan mig lube manong, "he continued.

 "Unya, katong giingon nako sa Nanay nimo nga tuba iyang gamiton, dili baking powder, iya bang gi sunod?" I asked back. "Ay ambot lang Manong, pero nakakita kog tuba gabii...kay adlaw-adlaw man si Tatay Kapyog moinom ug tuba adeser matulog...he meekly answered.

 

I was thinking Tuba wine is the poorman's red wine...organic, fresh and why not?....maybe, I thought next time to buy TUBA siguro instead of white and red wine....me thinks. "Hala ambi be...tilawan nako, kay gigutonm na pod ko...alas 10:30 na......

I tasted my fabulous, my most favorite rice cake  to die for!!!!

Expertly done and "special" with special price too. Aling Lukring, er...Aling Kuring is the best maker of bingka in the world. The soft and little sticky rice is perfectly cooked, it's almost like chiffon cake in texture and oh my gawd...the taste of tuba was there...so perfect...........so completely perfect.


And so I was eating my ordered mouth watering bingka like no other in my director's chair under the BALETE TREE....I simply adore my simple life!....my luxury....my paradise. " Yay, Lagrimas!!!!! daliiiii...kuhaa tong transistor radyo sa jeep, kay maminaw kog dramaaaaa...,wow, drama? YES!

 

I love listening radio drama especially " HANDURAWAN"...I love the voice of the lady before the story begins: in a moaning voice like as if she is still a virgin, as if while talking, somebody was doing something to her, she says: Haaaan....duuurawannnnn....sa matag ahhhhweeeet.......she moaned and moaned...ahhhhhh...mmmmmmmm....ahhhhhh. SHUCKS!!!!! WHAT SHE IS DOING ON RADIO???? IS SHE A VOICE OVER OF A LOCAL PORN...EWE...disgusting, PERO GUSTO  jud NAKO MAMINAW SA IYAHA...maglagoot lang kog mag-agulo na iyang tingog.

 

" Enyong, asa naman ang kagwang....nganong wa man nimo gikuha ang kabaw!!!!????....akong ablihan ang pultahan....kreeekk...kreeek... Hoy Mareng MIYAT ug Ensyong...unsay inyong gibuhat deres kwarto?...nganong wala kamoy mga sanina????...mga tampalasan...!!!! sagpaon ta kang bayhana ka...!!!dawata kini!!!!!!! pak!PAK!...PAK!!!...Ayaw day Lorna...maluoy ka sa kumare nimo day!!..wla man mi gibuhat nga binuang........nagsukod lang mi!!!!! Nagsukod?????.......ay kog binotboti diha kay nakit-an ko nga GADULOG MO SA KATREEEEEE...MGA amaaaaaaawwww....

BWAHAHAAHAHAHA,,,,,,,,mao kini imong madunggan sa HAAAAN...DU..RAWAN.......

It's my part of daily routine listening on radio soaps....hay, rural life and local fun.....but I LOVET!

THE DRAGONS OF MONTANA FUENTES

ECO LIFESTYLE, COUNTRY LIVING..... 

Do you know that the local dragon-the monitor lizard we know  locally as HALO, eats only fruits? not even insects, rodent or bird finds its way to its stomach...it eats mostly fruits..

I knew that a bunch or a brigade of this HALO and IBID (gray monitor lizards) live deep inside the tree plantation of my farm. The farm has two rivers that joined together like a "Y" shape down on the barrio road that cut a little on my mahogany and gemelina trees. With a certain degree of rugged terrain and suitable habitat, surely these  dragons undisturbed, breed and live  happily ...

UNTIL ONE DAY............................ 

"Lagriiiinggggg...!!!! pagdali Day, ug pangitag ihampak nimo, kay naay dakong HALO nga hingkat-kat sa lube!!!! pagdali, kay basin ug unhan ta ug kopras sa kanahan..!!!!!!!! I shouted at my house helper when all of the sudden I saw a yellowish figure slowly climbing to one of the coconut trees in the garden.

I remembered the last month's copra harvest, when I supposed to start harvesting coconuts for copra in my farm...the price was high then. Early in the morning I went to the farm and was so shocked that some local kawatan were already there last night in darkness and took all the coconuts!!! they even make LUGIT in the tree grounds." Mga animal na mga kawatan...grabee jud, kung makita-an jud mo nako ...aaa maluthangan jud mo!!! mga way batasan!!..I said to myself dismayed and sad upon looking the remains of the thieves.

I never thought about the dragon's need that time...I thought nature and man were trespassing my property. My compassion about the food chain was out in my logic. It was a fightback in my oppressed living against aggressors. And it just happened when a slimey soft noiseless predator(was it the HALO or me?) confronted me.

" Lagrimas, naunsa man ka....nganong salingsing mana imong dala? pangitag dos por dos aron matablawan kanang mambad...animal!!!!!...hello! mangopras ka????? katilaw jud kag hampak. Bokboka ang punoan Lagring aron mokanaog kanang halo!!!!", I was so excited on giving her instructions.

" Hala, pangitag bato ug labaya kana sya...dali.....! Sir. lisod man targeton ang halo... wow..kabanga ba nimo , concentreyt ba, pataka lang pod kag labay!!!!!!....ug sa dihang naigo ang halo sa iyang bato.

The dragon was hit on his stomach and suddenly decided not to continue his buko salad eating session..arggghhhh....
I saw him let off and made a free-fall gymnastic style  NADIA COMANECI FALL ON THE BAR.....!!!!

"WAAAAAHHHHH.... Lagriiiiiing...nahulog ang halo hampaka dayon ug DOS POR DOS porsanto....ang kuneho, por dos, este por dyos por santo, santa barbara, santa catalina santa inez...nakaka inis...bweset na Lagring...pagkaaaatalawan , midagan ug kusog milayat sa koral sa Montana , murag mapilde jud si Sulaiman, katong questionable ang gender nga runner sa national MEET!!!!.

In a split of a second Lagring was gone......
The dragon's  free- fall acrobatic made a strong impression, but......nalipong ug nakuyapan jud hinoon ang halo ug mga 5 minutes(hahahahahahah!!!). Ikaw daw mahulog sa taas nga lube...kuyapan jud ka di ba?...............


I was dumbed and awed by the bad directorial debut of my film- ang KWANGGOL NA LAGRING VS. THE HALO. WHAT HAPPENED NOW?...Yay, I thought the halo will die, and me leaving guilty about the situation....ah ok, me and my so selfish being....konsensya to the max....parang the HALO JUST WANTED HIS FRESH BUKO MERIENDA LANG NAMAN.

And miracle happened...ay buhay diay sya....Lagriiiimas.....asa naman ka pagdali kwanggol kay buhi pa ang buko salad loveeer....! JUICE  ko naman Lagring nganong talawan man ka..and my gawd!!!! nganong gatago man ka sa gumamela tree..........hello!!!!!!!!!!

What to do then, a bad situation and a bad cast of characters....a  HALO and Lagring...plus me the director.

Nature and Man. ...a fight for survival INSTINCT- both working between them...........NO WINNER.

HOME COOKING BISAYA STYLE

COOKING AT HOME

Sometimes home cooking is a better way than eating fastfoods and restaurants. Home is where your heart and stomach belongs. Na miss mo rin yong luto sa bahay, ug napura pod kag kaon ug pasta, pizza, beefburgers and thai /japanese foods. Lahi jud ang atong ginaluto sa balay, labi nag gimingaw na kakaayo sa luto ni Nanay...nga humot kaayo. There are lots of delicious food that we would eat with our heart. They say it is a HEART FOOD..meaning while eating you feel happy and satisfied sa imong gikaon. Normally kanang simple foods maoy atong gipangita sama sa HUMBA!!!! HAHAHAHAHA...asus ang high blood...pero dili lang gud pod daghanon. Naay utan nga atong kinaham and we called it LAW-OY.A simple dish of vegetable nga pwede ra kuhaon sa imong lagwerta ug sa silingan...labi nag wa sila sa ilang balay....ahehehehehe,,,ayaw pod.

 The preparation of LAW-OY is very simple..hala ibundak tanan nga utanon sama sa gabi,kalabasa, talong,okra, balatong, alugbate ug patola. Don't forget the tanlad kay mao jud na ang makalami sa utan, ay kamatis pod ug sibuyas.

And the side dish will always be my favorite: either sinugbang bangus, pritong sigarillo(galunggong)or inon-on nga tulingan.Hastang lamia imong paniudto baya....magpaningot jud ka...ubanan sad sa bugnaw nga COKES.....ahehehehehe, ako a seven-up ra, or for sugar free refreshing drink, lemonsito ubanan sa ice....pwerte sad kalami . And my lunch would be heaven kay dal-on man nako sa ilalom sa bugnaw nga balite nga naay suba sa kilid...sa akong farm ni. To finish up the sumptuous lunch? moorder kog bingka nga pinaliki nga bag-ong luto sa ilang ka Inday TIKAY-ANG.

A very simple lunch but full of luxury..nature at its best ...naa pay mga birds nga mo kanta sa sanga sa balite ha....pero dili ko ganhan kay ang akong favorite mao man ang HANDURAWAN SA MATAG AWIT...gikan sa akong gipalit nga transistor radio sa Pagadian Agora...sa akong suki nga Maranaw.

Lami maminaw ug drama sa radyo nga BISAYA kaayo jud....hahahahaha, moagulo jud kog kinatawa kay lage si Tering naghilak kay naapsan nya iyang bana sa ilang kwarto uban tawon sa ilang silingan...UNYA kay si Pedyong namotbot kay wa silay gibuhat !!! Heller!!!! suko si Tering kay wa may porol tawon si Pedyong..ahehehehehehe...ambot...!!!!

So kay weekend man, ako na pod gihuna-huna nga adto ko mag lunch after mass sa balite na sad.This time I wanted another simple dish: Manok nilat-an. LAGRING...LAGRING, DALI PA GUD DAY.....

Asa man intawon si Lagring? LAAAAGRIIINGGGGGGGGGGG....LAGREEEENGGGGGGGGGG...!!!!!!! asa man ang kanahan.

Sus tua man diay sa likod sa balay sa ponoan sa saging...naga text sa iyang boypren. Unsa na pod na Lagring, sige lang kag text...ang nilabhan Lagrimas? oo Sir humana nakog hayhay Sir. Ang sagbot ? OO Sir, ako ng nalabay.

Ikaw Lagring ha pang pito na na imong ka textmate, ayaw jud tuo nga but-an, ulitawo, gwapo na sila...tan-awa gud tong lake mong gikadate...TIGUWANG LAGRIMAS!!!!!....MURA NAG IMONG lolo OI......pataka lang ka ha!

Hala adto sa mercado ug palit ug manok,,,KANANG BISAYA, ug pagpalit sad ug ginamos sa ilang Bangladis.....pagdali!

While waiting for Lagring I took a little nap, until I woke up with a cry.....

Hoy Lagring kinsay namatay?.....

Sir...dili jud ko criminal Sir.....

Unsa Lagring? unsay nahitabo ...kinsa diay imong giluba sa mercado? Hesus ginoo palayo!!!

waaaaaaaaaahhhhh...wala man Sir!.
Unya nganong gahilak man ka?

Sir sa tibook nakong kinabuhi wa jud ko kapatay Sir....

So?........

Ayaw jud ko sugoag ako mupatay sa manok Sir!!!!!!!!!

Kay makasala ko sa Ginoo!......

OF FLAUNT AND SOCIAL CLIMBS

Social Climber daw when somebody post something dining in a restaurant..... said who? A big NO!!!!

Well, kung nag -ipon ka ng 3 months para ka lang makakain sa Starbucks or Bo's Cafe..that's SOCIAL CLIMB. PERO kung way of life mo na jud...MEANING NAA KAY KWARTA IADTO ug ikaon sa cafe, then why not. There is such a thing as TASTE, lahi ang service ug quality sa mga high end na cafe, and it is the most demanded SERVICES. I remember when tua mi sa PARIS...I told my friends nga gisapot na ko ug kape sa Mc DONALD and I wanted my coffee didto sa Champs Elysees...where Coffee cost 50 dollars, plus inig abot sa imong bill naa pa kay bayran nga extra per 30 minutes additional...so kung ang imong kape 2 hours mong gi inom, pwessss magbayad kag additional. My friends reacted in aghast.

 I explain to them that we are in Paris, and when in Paris act like Parisian ...not tourists whose tour are in ecomic-anemic wallets arggghhhhh.Well, after lots of persuasion all dressed up like Parisians and we went to CAFE DU PARIS and enjoyed the most expensive coffee in our life. Social climbing? of course not. You are plain and simple SOSYAL if you travel often to Paris. Sir...pwede ko nimo iuban sa Paris???? Lagring seriously asked me.
Ay Lagring, lisod jud ka iuban sa Paris kay printed kaayo imong mga sanina..makuyawan ang mga French uy.....Ngano man sir? Lagrimas ask.


Well I said to Lagring...Paris is the center of fashion and luxury, the French people love all what is good thing in life. French eat lunch or dinner in style, dili pareho nimo Lagring nga tulo ra ka hungit ang usa ka plato nga kaon...!!! Kinahanglan Lagring ang pagkaon kan-on nimo in french way...usa ka oras ang imong usa ka plato nga lafang....in between kinahanglan naay conversation...like arts,fashion, trends, the economy and politics Lagring.Plus another hour for a tiramisu dessert or an italian gelato, sort of.Paris you may think are bland people..90 percent of french people wear black all year round. Unya Lagring mahadlok man ka mosuot ug black kay ingon ka gibungol-bungolan ka sa imong inahan ..kay ngano kang naka black...gitunglo daw nimo sila...ahehehehehehe, Parisian ka Lagring! hala pusta kana imong black attire kay iuban ka nako pohon sa Pares-pares SA KANTO...kay didto ta maniudto!!!!!!!

So if you have the TASTE AND MONEY go eat at expensive restaurant...attitude is style and social. Ayaw pod ug papiktyur sa Jonquera or sa Pasil didto sa MacDO...meaning didto sa mac duko-duko ka sa kaulaw noh....
AND THEN PIKTYUR-PIKTYUR.....:)))))
Now if dining out cost you your two months salary...owmygowhness by all means sa balay ka mad stay ug magluto kad paniudto =utan plus sinubakan ug tulingan prito....kalami biya na...ug dal-a ang lamesa outside sa ilaliom ng guava tree....ahahahahaaha...ambience gihapon.
Eating in big resto needs attitude and presentation too Lagring....kinahanglan naka make up ka!!! dili ng mura kag naanuos imong nawong...kay paet Lagring ang diskreminasyon..tan-awon ka from head to foot...they will smile to you and sigh...oh sir i love your louboutin shoes and your hermes bag!!!!!! asus! Si Oprah Winfrey gani gipagawas sa Hermes shop kay wa may presentation... wa mailhi ang bilyonarya nga sikat....but then it was a mistake , so a public apology followed...still the damage had been done.


So Lagring pag ambisyon......!!!!!!!!!! katkat oi......

PHOTOCREDITS: Bo's Cafe Pagadian
                                   Jonathan Bernasol