Being a typical PROBINSYANO

I was born and raised in Zamboanga del Sur, but for the last half of my life I have lived in Dubai. Since compulsion formed no part of my decision to work here, I am at ease in this lively cosmopolitan city. I speak few of the languages-as it is somewhat a melting spot of many nations; have a wide swathe of friends and sufficient resources to partake of Duba's many attractions.


I feel at home here, and yet it is not my home in quite the same way as Philippines. My connection to Zamboanga is visceral. It is the Eden of my childhood. It is the setting of my earliest memories and perhaps my most profound experiences. It is my home by birth. It is where my ancestors are buried, where my parents live and died. Dubai is my home by adoption. It is where my style sanctum flourished my being.


I accommodate claims of both places in my heart by describing myself as an expat, at liberty to come and go as and when I like. It is this flexibility, this freedom that underpins my happiness here.

Almost every year, in the early July, I make up an excuse to head home to my ancestral village in Zamboanga. It isn’t as if there is an anniversary or birthday to celebrate. In fact, if I had to ascribe a reason, I would say it is a matter of roots.


Although many expats love to return home, the power wielded by Gulf money, the flourishing life, Pinoys lured away the temptation to go back home. But, the acid test for the born-and-bred-in-the Philippines-but-living-elsewhere-now, coming home is more on sentimental reasons, kiss and goodbye!.

Mountains of coconuts and bananas, hills of paddy, yards of morning glory flowers, rows of glinting buffaloos herding in the gleaming sun... this is the lure of home.


I have always been fascinated by the romance of nature and faraway illusions of huge forest, trudging through meadows, before clogging parchments with dreams about drinking coffee-in-the-mist I canonised so long ago. It was this pastoral road trips and the idea of getting back to nature that thrills me. So, when I flew to Zamboanga last summer, I convinced myself that I have to leave Dubai's confines and get to my boondocks that held forth the promise of a creative
cornucopia.


I imagined my last holiday back home, arriving late on a long trip from the local domestic airport, engulfed in darkness, air thick with the chirping of crickets. Our headlights revealed a lonesome carabao and her fawn in the woodlands behind us. The roar of gushing wind was hypnotic, but I was too tired to go any further at that late hour and crawled into sleeping instead.

What sounded like the hellish roar at night turned out only to be the river by the crack of dawn. Hot coffee and a stick of C in hand, I sat on the wooden chair composing nonsense haikus and eventually ventured out towards the water. Teetering across mossy stones, I decided to plant myself on a rock and let fresh air and creativity swathe me.


As the sun rises I took some excellent trails only a few meters away from my Balinese- inspired house cum retreat. Realising rather quickly that I was all fairly out of shape, I took on the fallen branches as support, to get down on all fours to climb over rocks still moist with what I hoped was only morning dew. The path took me an exhausting 100 feet up that offered me an Edenic views of Yllana Bay and surrounding hilltops.

Gasping for air as I was near exhaustion, nature, I learned, despite my delusions, isn’t necessarily benevolent, but the rusticity had me feeling more at peace with myself and the world and did in fact give me a new lease on creativity.

i'm coming home.................!

Si Lagring ug ang Pato

THE LAGRING CHRONICLES

I was very busy on that September morning; my workers at my tree plantation brought some unexpected bad news. We were having huge delivery after ten days and I can’t afford bad news.

“Sir, dili moandar ang chainsaw” says Dodong Titing the head of the team of eight from Oroquieta to do the cutting of gemelina trees.

“Unsa? Naguba sya? Karon pagani na gamiton, gipa maintain biya pod nako ng tulo ka chainsaw sa Pagadian” I answered quickly with a sad voice.

“Ambot Sir, kay ug paandaron gani na sya, mamatay jud dayon ang makina. Sige pod namog start biya pero ngano kaha nga tulo ka chainsaw dili man moandar?Unya si Balolong ug si Jepoy perting pangatol sa ilang lawas, maong gipapauli nako sila ug tua sila ron sa bansohan”Titing exclaim with unbelievable thoughts on his mind.

I know very well myself that what happened was un explainable, my machines were in great shapes and having itchiness was just too coincidental.

Manong Tikangkang came later and made some advices to me which I thought would complicate the matter and so absurd. He told me that the “people” in my farm got angry from the noise of the machine and they hated the destruction of the trees. The people he mentioned are the mga engkantos, mga anitos from the unseen world that live peacefully on three balete trees inside my property.

Wow, nanindog akong mga nihit nga balahibo sa akong ilok..unsaon nalang jud akong delivery? Kay nahadlok ko mabiyaan sa barko ang mga kahoy…pastilan.Maglisod napod ko sa sunod byahe, naka schedule na raba ang truck de carga, nakakuha na pod kog necessary permit sa DENR, haayy.kalisod.

“ Pero sir naa ma nay remedyo…” he says

Unsa Manong ? kinsay gi- remedyo? Este pagtarong oi..ayaw ug bugal-bugal..kabastos gud ana!

Then he told me these things also happened according to him on their previous experience on the forest of Dumingag.

Sir pangita ug kanang arbolaryo nga native nga tawo, ato na syang ipasubay ug atong ipa negosyet sa iyaha ang mga laing tawo unsa ilang mga demands o regalo o punishment sa atoa Sir, aron maulian ang mga makina.

Wow ha…yuck, unya motuo kaha ko ana? Heller….!!!!!

Pero ug mosugot ko, basin diay maulian ang makina diba? Ohhhh…sige I will make sugo kay Lagring kay naa jud na syay dugong ihalas,ahahahahahaha! Unya native pod kayo syag face baya.

Lagring….Lagreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeng!!!!!!!!! asa naman pod ka ng ungo Lagrimas?

Ser, naa ra biya ko sa gripo likod sa balay kay akong gilabhan ang mga sanina nimo nga akong gihumol.

Hala Lagring adtoa tong imong mga paryente katong mga manothoay , mga mananambal nga laway ra ang tambal… kadere pareho atong binisaya nga tambal sa akoa, ang animal way batasan gilud-an intawon sa kanahan akong ulo….huhuhuhu bastos oi, but in fairness lage naulian biya pod tong akong hubag sa lubot. Pero why man nga sa ulo man ko gilud-an?...mmm I wonder now baya.

So after two hours or so Lagring cameback, mayo nalang nga tulog pa akong baby Baste. According to Lagring the manambal ordered a pure white virgin chicken to be the offering to the mga enchanted personalities(wow, enchanted daw o!)

But why virgin chicken? White okey, but virgin..mmmm…shall I go to our local doctora Boningning to have a test if ever and to prove the virginity of the chick?

Ambot, bahala na. I slept away my problems and drifted my tired sexy body to lala- land.

Morning came..”Lagring, pag andam ug pamahaw kay ubani ko mangitag manok nga virgin inday” I ordered.

‘Naa nay pamahaw sir, fried rice, inon-unang danggit ug scrambled eggs” Lagring shouted. Pagtimplag kape ug Milo para kayBaste kay ubanon nato sya.

Asa naman tong akong gwapa nga long sleeve t-shirt nga akong gipalit sa ukay-ukay sa London?

The white t-shirt was my favorite one, on my travel to London I bought it at side street of  Portobello known as the thrift shop district in London. It has 2 cute angels in the front and the fitting, oh so gorgeous!!!!!!

Dia ra sir imong t-shirt ako na syang gihomol gahapon aron moputi ug samot…Lagring proudly stated.

Waaaaaa…unsay nahitabo sa akong palanggang t-shirt Lagring? Why man hing kopos kini , XL na sya atong pagpalit nako Lagrimas! Pordyos dos pordos buyag iyarah..hing gamay na sya…sakto rana sa size ni Baste!!!!!!!!! Hala oi Lagrimas, kalouy sa akong t-shirt….dili man na sya humolan, DRY CLEAN NA SYA inday!....

Lagrimas just looked at me puzzled, I know, it was my fault….she even didn’t understand what is dry clean arghhhhh….me and my scattered brain. So I shut my mouth and ate breakfast with baste and Lagrimas.

“Yay Lagring ilisde day nang imong t-shirt palihog lang... hate ko ang color” I said sabay ngiwi.

Sir ganahan ko ini peborit nako ni nga color..penk!

Ansabe? I thought,,,sige daw spell PENK! Ahahahaha!

Hoy Lagrimas kung dili mo ilisdan ang t-shirt okey lang day.... pero please lang ilisde kanang pekpek short nimo, kalian oi….itom kayo tan-awon imong kegol !!!!! HILAS ug LAW-AY.....dili ka si Vice Ugandah.... hala pag jeans dali!!!!!!!

Wow grabe itong yaya ni Baste kung maka arte ha, hurot sweldo palit ug whitening cream sa nawong namurag kalag hingputi hinoon, pero why man wa nya gi tsing-tsang –tso iyang kigol para puti sab.

And so we jumped into the car with my white cargo porontong and Zara long sleeves, a cap to cover from the glaring sun, Zara sandals in white and orange Arafat scarf. And Baste..? well he looked so angelic literally with my XL turned so very-very small white shirt.

It was a market day in Limonan, a feast of the eye welcomed us…from fresh vegetables, delicacies, dried fish/fresh fishes and other produce of the men from the hinterlands.

“Hala Lagrimas, kanaug sa jeep ug ikaw pangitag puting manok nga virgin, kami ni Baste didto sa estanbay sa namaligyag budbud ug bingka plus inom mig init nga chokwate…..anhai lang mi ngadto” I say.

After almost an hour , Lagring appeared nga murag gihangak, Sir wala lage puti nga manok ser….nay puti ser, pero lake man to sya akong pamate…so I tsens my mine Ser…palit nalang kog berjen pero dili manok ser…PATO!!!!!!!!!!!

Waaaaaaa…Lagrimas!!! Ahak oi…why intawon pato day….imo kong gibugal-bugalan noh??? Hampakon taka rong ug dagkong talong jud…ngutana unta ka! Dili kanang ikaw mo decide! Buang…!

Sapoton jud ko pag dili motuman sa akong sugo.

“Hala iuli na sya kay mangita tag lain …bweseet!

So after a while hinbalik na sad ang pak-an…Ser,sori jud kayo, nanguli nasa bukid ang tindera sa pato sir……!!!!!dili na mauli.

Na mental block ko after….basta lang I arrived home ug nganong hing-abot ko? I didn’t know….banha kayo ang pato sa likod..gahilak, alangan pod akong lookon sya….naluoy nalang ko sa pato. Si LAGRING GAHILOM-HILOM NAHADLOK MAKULATA!!!!!!

So with still the unsolved problem, I summoned again the manambal guy and beg him to let me have optons…like white pig perhaps?

Hay nako po itik nga naging pato…maayo gani ming sugot ang manambalay and ordered me to buy kanding or kambing …bisan dili puti/dili virgin.

So the ritual followed next day and miracles do happened…ming andar ang mga makina…yay, I am sure pinaglaruan lang ako ng mga kwanggol murag playtime ba...mura pod gi-ilad ko..kasi nahimo nilang sumsuman sa ilang inom pagkagabii…nangayo pajud ug 6 ka litrong Gold Eagle beer.

PS.

Did I mention to you nga dili ko mokaon ug pato? But I eat peking ducks in the resto, kasi feeling ko sosyal peking duck…from the noble emperial house of China…dili pato nga makit-an nako sa suba….hay, kalorkey ang itik na nagin pato!!!!

So akong gihatag apil ang pato sa mga palahubog kong workers…while akong  panihapon - tinonoang langka with lambay and shrimps….akong gipalit ang langka didto sa Friday market.S i Lagring? didto nanihapon sa bukid uban sa mga lalake...I'm sure enjoy kaayo didto ang ungo...kay akong natan-awan naka PEKPEK SHORT..........!